Category Archives: Personal care

That’s A Lot of Lists

You Even Have Lists Of The Lists You Need To Make

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Recently, I’ve been noticing something about myself: the more I let things go, the more peace I feel about things. However, when I let myself get caught up in my own concerns, fears, expectations, and stressers, the worse I feel. For example, I can start a day thinking that I have to get everything on my to-do list done, or I can start my day without putting any expectations on myself at all. In the first scenario, I’m basing my worth on the things I can accomplish. In the second, however, I’m basing my worth on who I am as a person, instead of what I can or cannot get done.

Sounds a bit complicated, sure, and I’ll probably get into that whole thing a bit later. For now, however, that’s hardly my point. With everything that I’ve been learning about myself, and as much as I adore my systems of organization, as I stated before, I’ve been figuring out that I completely base my confidence on the things that I can do. I’ll start my day by considering ‘how much can I get done today?’ Nothing besides this matters to me. I won’t bother to feed myself because I’m too busy working, I spend 90% of my time forcing myself to get things done just because I feel like I need to, and if I get less than three-quarters of my list crossed off, I had an unsuccessful day.

Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t work. Sometimes, in order to get things done, you have to do things regardless of whether or not you want to. That, of course, is the reality of the world. However, basing your entire life around this concept is hardly a way to live, and this is exactly what I’ve been doing.

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The Farming Way

It’s cooler than you think. 

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I’ve always loved playing those dumb farming games. Harvest Moon has always been my jam. Animal crossing too, of course. Played them for most of my life, and there’s something about the relaxed lifestyle of the characters, the small town vibe, and the idea of striking it rich with cute pixelated pumpkins, that’s just beyond appealing. Not to mention the sense of mystery and magic they throw into the games as well – the idea that not everything is as it seems. It’s awesome, and a great way to keep yourself occupied when you otherwise feel like doing nothing.

Like I mentioned in this months magazine, I’ve started playing a new one, called Stardew Valley. I’m enjoying it like crazy, and on those nights when I feel particularly miserable, it’s a great way to pass the time and distract myself a little. It’s actually so much fun, and I super recommend it.

However, that’s not my point. 

The thing is, I always go into these games at full force. Okay, we’re just starting out. So I’m gotta create a huge field and plant a hundred crops and pursue the person I’m going to marry and dive into the mines and get good at fishing and get a barn and–

Stands to reason I’d always feel slightly overwhelmed and end up just giving up before I get anywhere. And before you mention the fact that this is a perfect metaphor for how I live my own life, I already know that, thank you very much.

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After Tragedy Strikes

…How Do You Put Yourself Back Together?

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I know I touched on this a bit ago in this amazing guest post, but I thought I’d like to expand a little more on the topic. Tragedy happens, people leave us, we get ourselves out of bad situations are are forced to deal with the ensuing trauma – so just how are we supposed to pick ourselves up after that? How are we supposed to move forward and find ourselves again?

There aren’t any easy answers to those things. Believe me, I know. I’ve had to pick myself up off the floor too many times to think dealing with things and moving on is simple. But I do know a few things that’ve helped me rediscover (or discover for the first time) myself admits the chaos. Seeing as that’s what I’m in the middle of dealing with, and I know a lot of my friends are too, I thought it was about time I wrote something about it.

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Warning Signs

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I always thought I was so smart, that I’d never fall victim to anything. I’d never end up falling for a scam, never be tricked into giving away my money, and never end up in a bad relationship. However, despite how wise and all-knowing I like to think I am, to say I’m ‘too smart’ is simply not true. After all, while I may not have been gullible enough to send my contact information to a Nigerian Prince, I have, in fact, been involved in a terrible and abusive relationship. I know that contradicts everything about my dating life that I’ve posted about so far, but I really only realized how bad it actually was about a week ago.

Maybe I’ll go into details about that later. Maybe I won’t. But I know that there are millions of people around the world just like me, like both my parents and a lot of the friends I have – who have been, or are in the middle of being taken advantage of. Look, I figured out this was going on after about a year and a half. My dad didn’t clue in for nine whole years. As I’ve learned, no one’s immune.

So I’ve decided to make a bit of a list of the warning signs to look for in your own relationships. Not that knowing this list will make you any less vulnerable, but at least you’ve got a bit of a tool in your back pocket, as it were. I wish I had known this before all the trash went down, but maybe it might help someone else.

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