Don’t Tell My Grandparents

But I May or May Not Have Been Drunk Last Night.


I don’t know what it is, but the world has a wonderful way of giving you exactly what you need when you need it. Not always, but every so often when things are the absolute worst, you’re given not only what you need to make it through the day without dying, but instead receive everything you need to actually be happy. Because, you know, it’s been a rough week.

Anyways, last night I got to experience a different side of Nakuspian culture. I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with the folks my grandparents tend to hang out with, but if you remember from by previous post, they tend to be the Church-Going-City-Senior types. Which is completely fine. They’re mostly nice people who tick me off I don’t mind having around, but hall they talk about is who’s Whats-His-Face’s-Son’s-Name, and how all their friends can come over at any time because I’m going to solve all their tech problems for them.

The thing is, they’re all just petty little people living their petty little lives, pretending that everything’s always fine and dandy all the time. And here I’m sitting here like “hey guy’s so I’m kinda trying to deal with my rape trauma and major depression with a side order of suicidal thoughts and you’re trying to tell me about all the trees you’ve planted around town like I actually give a shit.”

But here I’m talking about the other side of Naksup – the rebellious side. I guess. If you can really call getting drunk with friends at pubs rebellious.

Continue reading “Don’t Tell My Grandparents”

Next On Small Town Living:

The Rednecks. 


Cue the jaws theme here.

I’m being dead serious about this one. Small town life just seems… old fashioned. Does that make sense? Also super redneck.

Nakusp is one town in the middle of several that make up the Kootney region of BC. Considering the size of most of these towns, travel between them is common. As with my previous post, those from the Kootneys are more respected than those who aren’t.

Besides all the small towns, however, there’s the different areas of Nakusp itself. It’s the biggest town for quite a while, bustling with it’s one street of shops and single flashing street light, so you get a lot of folks coming from the surrounding area. There’s Burton – about half an hour outside of Nakusp. They’ve only got a mill and a cider plant there, and so the ‘town’s’ pretty much dead. Only a few people live out there now, and it’s really socially reclusive. That’s where our cabin is. Faulquier is another one – renowned locally for it’s golf course – and is made up of a restaurant and a ferry crossing.


So here’s where you start to get the different people groups, alright? I’ve finally got them all classified.

Continue reading “Next On Small Town Living:”

It’s The Start of Something New

It Feels so Right to be Here With You


I know I’ve fallen behind this week. I’ve been busy, still trying to get settled in to an entirely new town, and I’ve had a of lack of ideas, if that all makes sense. Like, alright, I could talk more about mental health or sexual assault. Cool. Not like that’s the only thing I’ve been doing with my blog or anything.

Then I stared thinking: I just moved to a town with a population in the hundreds, and I haven’t been talking about it. This place is quirky, full of old people, and bosses who have no problem with employees showing up high. Growing up in a big city (relatively), it’s actually such a switch in mentality for me, and I can’t help but be caught up in the silly little things that define this town: Nakusp. 

So to make up for this week, today and for the rest of the weekend, I’ll publish a post a day about the silly little things that make up small towns.

The first thing on my list of quirks, and what we’re going to be talking about today, is the fact that no one has last names here. Or first times, on occasion, depending on how long you’ve been in the community. Born and raised here, you’re a local. Everyone else is an outsider. Anyway, people here aren’t referred to by their names, but rather, their occupation, most recent physical ailment, or nationality. And, if they have no claim to fame in town yet, they’re simply referred to by their location or relation to other people that are known. So far, since arriving, I’ve met the Electronics Guy, the Lady From Japan, and the Man Whose Wife Just Died. On top of that, I’ve heard about the Lady Who does Acting, the Lady Who Moved Into The City Because She’s Too Old, The Lady Who Does Art, The Man Who Carves, the Electronic Guy’s Girlfriend, and the Chef Who Just Bought The Pig Cafe. Out of all those people, I only know three actual names. Two of which are because they’re my employers, and one simply because I had an interview with him and he’s a good looking man and I pay attention when someone’s name is Tyler. 

Continue reading “It’s The Start of Something New”

Can We Just Take a Moment

To Appreciate Something That Happened to Me Today?


So I’m walking home. I’ve been out in town for a solid hour and a half or something, running about doing errands of some sort or another. Since starting my new job, it’s my first day off, so I’m trying to get a few things done that I need to take care of. Moving to a new place is a lot of work.

Anyways, so here I am, heading back home. I’ve got a stack of six very heavy books in my hands, and I’m starting to feel really sick. At this point, I’d be surprised if I didn’t puke on my way. My guess is that I’m majorly dehydrated – a mixture of all the smoke in the air and the heat- and I really wasn’t looking forward to that walk.

I’m taking it slow when this guy pulls up in his van right next to me. You know the type – tinted windows and that jazz. Forget the fact that his vehicle said “Fire Safety and Rescue Services” on the side. I hadn’t noticed that yet.

Continue reading “Can We Just Take a Moment”

What if I Don’t Like You Under My Skin?


I wanted to switch things up a little bit. After all, I’ve been writing about some heavier topics recently, and I thought it might be fun to have a bit of a break from that, and dive into the more obscure. By obscure, I mean me.

The point is, I’m a blogger. Sweet. I’m a lot more than that, but hey, I enjoy writing a lot. But I’m also a person, and being a person, I have some of the most ridiculous quirks you’ll ever see in a person. So please, come and humour me for a moment, because I swear you’re bound to find at least one item on this list really freaking weird. Continue reading “What if I Don’t Like You Under My Skin?”

Lolita Is a Great Book…

…because I like reading stories about pedophiles(?)


I wanted to read this book forever. For those of you who don’t know, Lolita’s a classic, and highly controversial novel by Vladimir Nabokov, who – going by his first name – was obviously Russian. The book follows the story of a Mr. Humbert Humbert (which is a terrible name – thank goodness it’s revealed to be a pseudonym), who happens to have a particular attraction to certain young girls. This leads him into a dark affair with one particular Dolores Haze, and his eventual capture. I promise there aren’t any spoilers in what I just said, if this particular kind of novel tickles your fancy.

I’m not entirely sure what I had been expecting going into it. Of course, the book is written from Hum-creeper’s perspective, and thus making it a wonderful example of the ‘unreliable narrator trope.’ I wanted to study that for my own writing. However, despite Vladimir the obvious Russian, stating at the end of the book that he meant no meaning or moral when writing the story, I found one. A really deep and profound one that really speaks to the sort of thing I’m going through at the moment, and because of this meaning, I’d implore you to read it as well (if you’re into the sort of prose he writes in).

And after this, there will be spoilers. Just as a fair warning.

On the surface, Lolita’s a book about a creep who manipulates and rapes a young girl, holding her captive for years. He marries her mother to get to her, does a whole manner of other deplorable things, and is essentially an atrocious person. But if you look beyond that, Nabokov is examining two very familiar (to me at least) aspects of unhealthy love. He’s pulling apart a bad relationship, splitting it into two parts, and creating characters that represent two of the largest downfalls we face when dealing with relations between people. Getting out of a bad relationship myself, I relate highly to both characters – yes, the pedo included – and the story was almost therapeutic to me, in a weird way.

Continue reading “Lolita Is a Great Book…”

The Farming Way

It’s cooler than you think. 


I’ve always loved playing those dumb farming games. Harvest Moon has always been my jam. Animal crossing too, of course. Played them for most of my life, and there’s something about the relaxed lifestyle of the characters, the small town vibe, and the idea of striking it rich with cute pixelated pumpkins, that’s just beyond appealing. Not to mention the sense of mystery and magic they throw into the games as well – the idea that not everything is as it seems. It’s awesome, and a great way to keep yourself occupied when you otherwise feel like doing nothing.

Like I mentioned in this months magazine, I’ve started playing a new one, called Stardew Valley. I’m enjoying it like crazy, and on those nights when I feel particularly miserable, it’s a great way to pass the time and distract myself a little. It’s actually so much fun, and I super recommend it.

However, that’s not my point. 

The thing is, I always go into these games at full force. Okay, we’re just starting out. So I’m gotta create a huge field and plant a hundred crops and pursue the person I’m going to marry and dive into the mines and get good at fishing and get a barn and–

Stands to reason I’d always feel slightly overwhelmed and end up just giving up before I get anywhere. And before you mention the fact that this is a perfect metaphor for how I live my own life, I already know that, thank you very much.

Continue reading “The Farming Way”

After Tragedy Strikes

…How Do You Put Yourself Back Together?


I know I touched on this a bit ago in this amazing guest post, but I thought I’d like to expand a little more on the topic. Tragedy happens, people leave us, we get ourselves out of bad situations are are forced to deal with the ensuing trauma – so just how are we supposed to pick ourselves up after that? How are we supposed to move forward and find ourselves again?

There aren’t any easy answers to those things. Believe me, I know. I’ve had to pick myself up off the floor too many times to think dealing with things and moving on is simple. But I do know a few things that’ve helped me rediscover (or discover for the first time) myself admits the chaos. Seeing as that’s what I’m in the middle of dealing with, and I know a lot of my friends are too, I thought it was about time I wrote something about it.

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Warning Signs


I always thought I was so smart, that I’d never fall victim to anything. I’d never end up falling for a scam, never be tricked into giving away my money, and never end up in a bad relationship. However, despite how wise and all-knowing I like to think I am, to say I’m ‘too smart’ is simply not true. After all, while I may not have been gullible enough to send my contact information to a Nigerian Prince, I have, in fact, been involved in a terrible and abusive relationship. I know that contradicts everything about my dating life that I’ve posted about so far, but I really only realized how bad it actually was about a week ago.

Maybe I’ll go into details about that later. Maybe I won’t. But I know that there are millions of people around the world just like me, like both my parents and a lot of the friends I have – who have been, or are in the middle of being taken advantage of. Look, I figured out this was going on after about a year and a half. My dad didn’t clue in for nine whole years. As I’ve learned, no one’s immune.

So I’ve decided to make a bit of a list of the warning signs to look for in your own relationships. Not that knowing this list will make you any less vulnerable, but at least you’ve got a bit of a tool in your back pocket, as it were. I wish I had known this before all the trash went down, but maybe it might help someone else.

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Song I’m Never Actually Going to Finish


Scars of Gold – wip 

Verse 1 – play first and second part together
I miss the way you used to look at me
As if I were the most important
And your eyes held all the intensity of love
But then I had to watch you fade from me
Feel the ice cold of your gaze
It froze me solid
Stopped the blood in my veins That I could go from being someone’s treasure
To a half developed thought

There’s no such thing as closure
When one day you just stopped
Without explanation
But you still kiss me like there’s no tomorrow
Like I’m the only light you see
And I don’t get it
I don’t get it
Where the hell are you leaving me?

Continue reading “Song I’m Never Actually Going to Finish”