Warning Signs

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I always thought I was so smart, that I’d never fall victim to anything. I’d never end up falling for a scam, never be tricked into giving away my money, and never end up in a bad relationship. However, despite how wise and all-knowing I like to think I am, to say I’m ‘too smart’ is simply not true. After all, while I may not have been gullible enough to send my contact information to a Nigerian Prince, I have, in fact, been involved in a terrible and abusive relationship. I know that contradicts everything about my dating life that I’ve posted about so far, but I really only realized how bad it actually was about a week ago.

Maybe I’ll go into details about that later. Maybe I won’t. But I know that there are millions of people around the world just like me, like both my parents and a lot of the friends I have – who have been, or are in the middle of being taken advantage of. Look, I figured out this was going on after about a year and a half. My dad didn’t clue in for nine whole years. As I’ve learned, no one’s immune.

So I’ve decided to make a bit of a list of the warning signs to look for in your own relationships. Not that knowing this list will make you any less vulnerable, but at least you’ve got a bit of a tool in your back pocket, as it were. I wish I had known this before all the trash went down, but maybe it might help someone else.

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Song I’m Never Actually Going to Finish

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Scars of Gold – wip 

Verse 1 – play first and second part together
I miss the way you used to look at me
As if I were the most important
And your eyes held all the intensity of love
But then I had to watch you fade from me
Feel the ice cold of your gaze
It froze me solid
Stopped the blood in my veins That I could go from being someone’s treasure
To a half developed thought

There’s no such thing as closure
When one day you just stopped
Without explanation
But you still kiss me like there’s no tomorrow
Like I’m the only light you see
And I don’t get it
I don’t get it
Where the hell are you leaving me?

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Finding Yourself – Thanks for the Post, Love.

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Written by my delightful Dylan. Thanks for being so honest and sharing what you’re going through. 

Recently I got out of a toxic relationship. It’s complicated to say what we actually were, so we’ll just call them The Ex.

 They played with me and manipulated me until I was someone who I didn’t recognize looking in the mirror. After I got rid of them, trying to look at myself again was difficult. The amount of self hate I suffer with is difficult. It effects everything, how I wake up in the morning, how I get dressed, how I do my makeup. I can’t even sit comfortably anymore, trying to keep my shoulders drawn in and my thighs touching so I take up less room. I couldn’t listen to the same music they did either. Everything in my life was them.

 So I changed my life. I changed my music and changed the video games I played. I even changed the clothes I wore.

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Creative Writing Project – Mood Setting

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The lights went out. The entire tent was cast into darkness – the kind of inky blackness that you couldn’t help but lose yourself to. It stretched its empty hands into everything, cold and unapologetic, like smoke, relentlessly flooding everything it touched.

Not a soul stirred, and the silence was just as heavy and enveloping as the dark. Wait for a breath, pause long enough for another few, and sit in the nothingness.

The faint smell of smoke wafted through the air, just strong enough to be noticed, but only obvious in the way that a sound is made apparent in a dream – softly, almost imagined, and not altogether real.

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