No, I’m Not Going to Start Singing About It
Because the topic of today is ‘letting go.’ And just to reiterate my point, we’re not talking about Frozen, so before you start singing the song that literally follows you everywhere, stop for a moment so it doesn’t get stuck in your head.
Too late, I know.
Anyways, I’ve been learning a lot about myself in the past little while. To be honest with you, most of it has been bad. Not bad in the way that I need to stop chasing stranger’s children with nerf guns bad, but more like ‘why the heck would you do this to yourself’ bad. The main issue I’ve been realizing, however, is my inability to let things go. As I’ve been discovering, I actually hold on to everything in my life, however insignificant a thing it may be, because I feel as though it brings me a safety and security I can’t get elsewhere in my otherwise chaotic life.
Boy was that wrong.
Holding onto things doesn’t mean security, it’s more like throwing yourself in your own prison and tossing away the key. It takes away from your peace, adds to your stress and misery, and until I learn to let these things go properly, I’m never going to find freedom within myself.
That being said, I find that this pertains to not only myself, but pretty much everyone else as well. So here I’ve written a bit of a list of the things I’m learning to let go of, in hopes that it may give you some good ideas as well.
The expectations I put on myself. No one can make me feel pressured unless I let them, and for the most part, that pressure comes from inside me anyway. Pressure to look a certain way or be a certain way – you know, the works.
The past. It’s all fine and dandy to be nostalgic, but that ain’t gunna get you anywhere. It was great (or awful) while it lasted, but let’s just move on to new adventures.
Stuff. I had no idea how much my countless amount of things had been weighing me down until I started getting rid of them all. Please check this website out here. I know you’ve probably seen her books everywhere, and most likely think she’s just another self-help author, but I implore you – this method (however loosely I’ve applied it) actually changes your life.
Relationships. Some people are meant to be in your life. Some people are meant to be amazing for a time and then leave, while others still were never meant to be there in the first place. Holding onto people who don’t spark joy within you isn’t worth it. (Get my joke in reference to that website I just linked you to? Super witty, right?)
Goals and ideas. Often times, I find the point in setting goals is to give you something to look forward to and a direction to head in. However, those things rarely ever pan out the way you want them to, if they pan out at all. Enjoy the process while it lasts, then learn to move on to something new.
Your negativity. As I’ve stated in many, many, many, many, many, posts about depression, the darkness within, and scientific brain connections, negativity is often a choice. Depression and anxiety aren’t – that’s not what I’m saying – but buying into the darkness is an addiction we all seem to get in to. So let that addiction go.
The things you define yourself by. I often place my value in the state of my house, the amount of things I get done, or how many people adore me. But none of these things are me. My talents and abilities and recognition for those abilities aren’t me either. They’re just one piece in the whole. I have to value myself for who I am as a person, and let go of the concept that doing or having defines me.
The future. We could spend years stressing about what’s to come – and I have – but what’s the point? What’s going to happen will happen. I’m enough within myself to not only deal with it when it does, but thrive. Losing friends, relationships, family, dreams — it’s all happened before, and it’ll happen again. But I’m okay enough within me that I don’t need any of these things to be happy and ‘complete.’
Would you add anything to this list? Take anything away from it? What things are you learning to let go?