As I’ve stated in my last post, I’ve been watching Lord of the Rings a lot. For those of you who haven’t seen it, you’re really missing out. I feel like it’s full of lessons, and no matter how many times I watch it, I’m always learning something new about myself and the world. It’s awesome.
Anyways, as I spoke about before, I am not limited to feeling one thing at a time. I can believe and still have no faith whatsoever. I can be happy while being miserable. I can be logical as I sit up late crying myself to sleep. I can exist as everything. All parts of me are happening at once, and it’s not about shoving down your Mordors or trying to get rid of your Goblin Nests, its about learning to work with them.
But to be honest, my own world has seemed more dark than light recently. We’re talking about constant storms, intense battles, a world where the sun never seems to shine – and I got to thinking: What’s the point? When misery this deep exists, when no hope is insight and you seem to be losing against everything, what’s the point in going on? When there’s so much bad in the world – when so many terrible things have happen. How could things ever be okay again?
Sound familiar? It should, if you know anything about Lord of the Rings, that is.
There’s a scene in the second movie, right near the end. Frodo’s near giving up. Kind of like me, I guess. He’s exhausted, out of hope, and frankly, quite miserable. He – like all of us – challenges everything. He asks the question, “what’s the point?”
And then we get to Sam:
“It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and dangers they were. And sometime you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened?”
Relate to this at all? Probably. But here’s where it starts to get important:
“But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and the sun will shine out all the clearer. I know folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going because they were holding onto something.”
Hopelessly optimistic, right? In the face of all this evil, all this darkness, he’s believing that the world can be bright, that the sun will shine, and there’s still beauty left out there somewhere. And all throughout the movie, he continues believing. He points out the stars, the light he sees in the world – the goodness. Meanwhile, Frodo’s just mister doom and gloom.
They both sound like me, to be honest.
Frodo turns and asks Sam what they’re holding onto. He’s desperate, he sees no reason for continuing. How can his friend remain so hopeful in the face of such evil?
“Because there’s some good left in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.”
How could I ever give up when there’s so much goodness and love out there? How could I let myself succumb to the darkness when I’ve experienced first hand the light of the sun? Yeah, things suck. I can be as miserable as I possibly can be. But the sun’s still there, you know? As Sam says later on, “there’s a light – a beauty in this world that even the darkness can’t touch.”
Do I always believe that? No.
What I can do, however, is to look back on my life and all the light I’ve seen in it. I can take a look at the friendships I have, some of the happiness I’ve experienced, and I can know through that, that the world isn’t all darkness.
I don’t know, maybe I’ve just been thinking about this quote a lot. And I have been. I plaster it everywhere. I literally write it out on every single day of my planner. Because when things get really miserable, and I can’t see the sun through the clouds, I just remember:
“There’s still some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.”
It’s there, it exists, and no matter how dark my world gets, how many battles are lost and how much it looks like Sauron is winning, there’s still light. There are stars and beauty that can’t ever be touched. And no matter how terrible things get, how much I would like not not wake up some days, I’m going to hold onto that. I’m a fighter and the queen of my own world, and if I have to go down with something, I want to go down with the hope that the universe can be beautiful. I’m going to be like Sam (on most days), and choose to believe in a cause that seems all but lost, because who else is going to have that kind of faith?
Remember Arwen? The elf princess who’s in love with Aragorn? She stakes her life on this belief. She trusts so strongly that the light is going to win, that her hubby is going to rise to his destiny and come out alive, that she gives up the rest of her immortality for her faith.
She spends the majority of the third movie dying! Her life is fading, her own father doesn’t even believe in her, and yet, she persists. And you know what? She was right. The light did win, and she ended up getting everything she had always wanted.
I want to be like that. Whether I end up dying for my cause or not, I refuse to let the darkness overcome me. I refuse to accept defeat, to stop believing – to stop holding on. And I’ve been through absolute hell, man. There’s no way to sugarcoat that.
But maybe if I believe, maybe I can bring a little bit of light back into the lives of other’s who are also rampaged by the darkness. Who knows?