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Let me ask you guys a question. Why the heck would I go on the internet, bare my soul to complete strangers, and freely expose all the deeply personal things that are happening in my life? Why would I talk about my life in the first place? Why would I expect anyone to care? What’s the point of me starting up something like this in a world where billions of blogs exist and very few people actually get noticed?
I’m going to tell you a bit about myself here. It’s one thing to read my posts and see what’s going on in my life, but it’s another altogether to know me in person. Outwardly, I’m rather loud. I talk a lot, I do a lot of things that most people would have too much shame to do, and I’m rather blunt. I’m polite, I have a heck ton of friends, and I get complimented on a daily basis. I can’t see anyone without them either telling me how cute I am, how funny I am, or how proud they are of me because I’m super inspiring and blah blah blah. Basically, I’m charming, someone everyone really likes, and a person that people either want to be with, or strive to be like.
On the inside, I’m a freaking mess.
My guess is that you are too.
I worked so hard to try to meet everyone’s expectations of me. I always had to be fun, always had to be happy, always had to be in a good mood, to lift up the spirits of others. Always had to be polite, never have any weaknesses – look cute no matter what’s been going on. I tried to be everything to everyone, to be as perfect on the inside as I was on the outside.
Of course, the only thing that lead to was burnout and a hatred towards myself for not being able to measure of to the person I thought I was supposed to be. I hated my messiness, looked at it as something undesirable and wrong – something that made me a fake. It’s only been since I’ve started to learn to embrace it (often because I haven’t had much of a choice in the matter), that I’ve come to love that part of me.
Yeah, I look good on the outside. I’m fun to be around and whatever else, but I’m still a mess. And that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, most, if not all, people are messes.
So I started thinking – what if we all stopped pretending that we were anything but screwed up, and came to love the parts of us that were a little less put together? What if we, as human beings, could come together to be honest about our hurts and failings, to discuss our struggles and weaknesses openly? What kind of world would that be?
People wouldn’t be ashamed of their problems anymore. They wouldn’t feel the need to pretend so much. We could just live and support each other through our struggles, eradicate a lot of unnecessary loneliness we feel because we don’t think there’s anyone out there struggling like us. We could stop comparing ourselves to the people we think have it all together, and we could stop hating ourselves because of the difficulties we face.
I’m not naive enough to think that my tiny little blog here is going to change the entirety of the human race. However, things need to start somewhere. And I thought, if one person starts talking, if just one person comes to embrace who they are, share their life openly without any of the messiness kept hidden, what would happen? Would other people be inspired? Would someone start to feel comfortable and okay with themselves? Could even just one person find comfort in the fact that they’re not alone, and that their struggles can be beautiful?
My life is far from interesting. As special as I like to think I am, I’m really quite average. The same as everyone else, I’m trying to figure out who I am and where that person fits into this big world I was thrust into, without having any say in the matter whatsoever. The things that I go through and the lessons I learn really aren’t all that exceptional.
However, if I can take the risk and open myself up, holding nothing back, letting my own fears go and just embrace who I am with an almost embarrassing sense of honesty, maybe, just maybe, other people will start to feel safe to do the same. And then those people impact and inspire others, and on and on until the world is a place where we don’t feel the need to pretend and keep our real selves hidden away.
It’s an impossible dream, yes, but nothing’s going to happen if no one tries, right? And who knows, maybe I’ll actually have an impact.
So this is me, messes and all, doing my best to inspire you. To show you that who you are is okay, and that your struggles don’t define you in anyway whatsoever. That life can be beautiful and victories do happen, and you’re never alone in anything. That someone else – some stranger on the other side of the world – cares about you, and wants you to be able to love and accept yourself just as she’s learning to. That we’re all in this together, and you never have to go through your journey by yourself.
So, with all that being said, let’s stand as one and face this world together, yeah?