What I Learned Being 20

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Welp, it’s that time of year again. Getting older, advanced another age, closer to death – you know, however you want to look at it.

However, despite the fact that I had a pretty difficult year being twenty, I learned a heck of a lot of things. Things that I’m hoping I’ll carry with me throughout the rest of my life. While it may have been a challenge to get where I am now, I’m very thankful for the progress I’ve been able to make, and I can’t wait to see what being twenty-one brings me!

Anyways, here’s my list of the top twenty lessons I learned while being twenty.

  1. Your values are yours to define. You know what you are and are not okay with. No one else can determine that for you.
  2. Friends are great, but find the ones who are going to text you when they’re awake at two in the morning, just to ask you how you’re doing.
  3. Stand up for yourself. Nothing will empower you more than being straight up and honest with how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking.
  4. No one’s going to be able fix you. No one can make you happy if you’re not already happy yourself. It’s up to you to find your own joy. Other people can add to that, but they can’t give it to you.
  5. People can only give you what they’re able to give themselves.
  6. There’s nothing to be ashamed of in needing help.
  7. Sometimes, dropping it all and running away is exactly what you need.
  8. There are people around you who love you unconditionally. No matter how messy you are, how much you screw up, and how much you hurt them, they’re waiting with open arms for you.
  9. The more you expect to be rescued, the worse it’s going to be for you.
  10. Your life is a story being written. It can be edited and readjusted as many times as you want. You’re never as trapped or as stuck as what you feel you are.
  11. Love because you want to love. Not because you’re getting anything out of it.
  12. Before you stress out about something, ask the person directly. It’ll solve a thousand problems before they even happen.
  13. What someone says or thinks about you does not define your value. Your importance is a set point that cannot ever be decreased, no matter what you do or what happens to you.
  14. In order to find the magic in the world, sometimes you have to live more in a fairy tale than reality. Being smart is important, but we can spend so much time trying to be logical, we can lose sight of who we really are.
  15. Cats are actually wonderful, and it’s very important to me that I have a nice snuggley one in the future.
  16. The fear of losing something can often cause you to lose it.
  17. You have to figure out what you want. There will be people by your side to help you, but you’re responsible for getting what you need.
  18. Being passive aggressive never works. In fact, it makes things a million times worse.
  19. Subtle hints and manipulation also doesn’t work. Be direct and upfront.
  20. The longer you let an issue lie without resolving it, the worse it gets. Things are never going to ‘just get better’ if you wait them out.

And, lastly, you are enough in and of yourself. Self-development is great, making progress is awesome, but even without those things, you’re okay. If you spend all your time striving for the future instead of enjoying the moment, you’re going to end up wasting your whole life. After all, someday is today, not sometime else.

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